There is a wonderful book called "Hold Onto Your Kids" by Dr Gordon Neufeld. I will link to his talk on it. It covers the idea that is terribly important for you to stay engaged with your kids over time & have their primary attachment remain to the core family instead of transferring to peers. When children are more attached to friends & seek more for the approval of friends over family, then you can end up at the mercy of changing tides, where "the wrong crowd" can hold too much influence over your child. I had so many "Ah hah" moments reading this book, because when I was young there was so much talk in media about "peer pressure" and I'd roll my eyes all the time about it, as an excuse as to why "good kids" turned bad. But the reality is that looking back, I too was under constant peer pressure but had no clue. My family life was actually pretty solid. I was very close with my siblings & while other kids were constantly trying to get me to do things, I didn't feel the pressure because I wasn't seeking their approval, so to me, it merely felt like "getting hassled". I found it irritating & avoiding hanging out with people who I felt like didn't respect my answers & continued to try to bug me about their own wants versus respecting that I already said "no thanks". This book helped me understand why my peers were in fact feeling the peer pressure that I wasn't & why they were bending to it. It also made me realize that much of my personal confidence came from knowing that I was already loved by the people I really did value most and that this crap going on at school couldn't touch that, ever, so it didn't bother me as much. I wanted to be liked All people do, but I didn't need it, and I could live with being unliked as long as it meant I could be myself.
With my own kids I just talk to them about everything, ask questions. I listen. I do not always try to offer my input, it's okay to just be a sounding board, even if you think you have the answers, you do not have to always give them. I let my kids make choices very very young, within any reasonable way I can (assuming you have accounted for safety, etc). I let them have their hair however they like, I let them choose clothing, I let them wear spiderman costumes for a week straight if we have no real reason they can't other than I'd like it better if they didn't. I do not try to limit the choices that are safe to make. I even let them go places without a coat when it's chilly. They learn soon enough that when I suggest a coat is a good idea, they should probably listen. I don't make arguments where life would teach them my suggestion was a good one, like if you take that toy outside & forget it, it will probably be ruined. I offer friendly tips, but seldom do I invoke actual demands, as I believe you have to learn for yourself that being cold at the zoo really stinks. It also means you likely have to leave early & that you are pretty miserable while there. And I never "I told you so". Instead I am kind & say something like, "Hey it looks like you are pretty cold. Why don't we go home & get warmed up & try this again another day?" They already usually know when they messed up, they seldom need to be told that & they almost never need to be told that you tried to warn them. They know that already & it doesn't serve to make them a better person, trust you more, or increase the odds of them coming clean with you with other mistakes. What you try to do overall in this approach is remain approachable, so that when your child has messed up & doesn't know what to do next, they ask your advice, not their friends. THAT is what my family was. I had girls at 15 asking me for advice on late periods & if they might be pregnant. Those are conversations you would ideally LOVE to have your 15yr old talk to you about, not her equally under equipped peers.
Here is the video that goes along with the book I mentioned. I think you will find it very interesting. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UlMkWJY5T_w