我應該讓他們停下來還是讓他們成為他們？

您您可能不應該直接介入自己。

是您的女兒必須決定她是否感到不舒服，以及是否通過與相關男孩面對來解決這種感覺。如果您需要為她解決自己需要解決的問題，這對她沒有任何好處。

可以做的就是跟女兒聊天。問她，男孩的注意力如何使她感到。如果您認為不合適，請與她討論。如果她詢問如何處理，請提出不同的行動途徑，並與她討論。確保她知道要在哪裡畫線（她必須定義自己的位置-您不能為她做這條線），然後有人越過時保護該線。這需要自信，因此，為增強她的自信而採取的任何措施都是朝著正確方向邁出的一步（而照顧她的問題根本無助於建立自信）。

此外，如果您直接參與自己的活動，她可能會不喜歡它，尤其是如果她知道看著她的男孩並且不認為他們是完全的混蛋。

我必須承認，我在同齡的其他女孩子身上確實很孤單。

十幾歲的男孩和男人渴望找到漂亮的少女。這是獎牌的另一面：適用於您女兒的也適用於您十幾歲的兒子（如果您有）。如果您看到他以您認為不合適的方式看著女孩，那麼您必須與他討論。

看漂亮的女孩可能是大多數十幾歲的男孩都被迫要做的事情，但是有一些做到這一點的方法是無禮的和卑鄙的，其他的方法也不會傷害任何人，並且您已經可以開始對小孩子教這些了，當他們指向吸引他們的人時。您不必因發現其他人著迷而懲罰他們，但您應該向他們解釋，表達這種魅力的方式有多種，其中有些比其他的更容易接受。

我會略微不同意先前給出的答案-嗯，不僅僅是略微不同。他們要么不區分“傲慢”和“欽佩”，要么鼓勵我們通過不採取任何行動來暗中地與孩子溝通，讓其他人不尊重他們是可以的。淫蕩被定義為“以淫蕩的方式凝視”，淫蕩的定義為“具有或表現出過度或令人反感的性慾”。如果我看到有人在我面前“盯著我的女孩”，我會採取行動，站在我和她的女孩之間，並非常尖銳地盯著白痴。

實際上，我已經三度這樣做了。一次有一個男人很明顯地盯著我妻子的屁股，一次是一個十幾歲的男孩正盯著我的大女兒，還有一次是我陪伴一群女孩，包括我的大女兒，去巴布亞新幾內亞參加排球比賽。當我們到達該地點並從麵包車下車時，一群當地男子開始凝視，指著我們的女孩，竊笑並發表粗魯的評論。我在女孩和她們之間走來走去，給了她們邪惡的眼睛，mouth著我的嘴巴，露出了我最好的鄙視的表情。和/或基本衛生] ...有問題的男人很快變得尷尬並轉身離開。

問題是，這樣做時您正在教育孩子。您向她傳達的信息是，她比“過度或令人反感的性慾”更有價值。您正在為自己不在時她可以做的事樹立榜樣。我也鼓勵您與您的女孩交談，並讓他們知道，當男孩或男人以“欺騙”的方式看著他們時，讓他們期望並要求尊重是完全可以的。通常情況下，所需要做的只是凝視。

但是，當然，您還需要與女兒討論這些事情。討論發生了什麼事情（如果發生了），以及為什麼要像以前那樣處理它。我想有時候可以忽略食人魔，但她需要知道，如果她感到舒適和安全，就可以期望並要求尊重。她可以用凝視的方式傳達信息，但也可以選擇走開。

如果男人或男孩以“哇，你很漂亮”的方式看著你的女孩，那是另一回事。我也有。我有三個女孩和一個非常漂亮的妻子。當我的妻子初次見到她時，我有一位同事評論我的妻子的美麗。顯然這根本不是好色的評論，而是恭敬的欽佩。我對他滿口笑容表示感謝。我也有一個男人問我他是否可以帶我的女兒去參加舞會。每次他看著她時，我都會以一種柔和的方式看到這種令人欽佩的表情。我可以說他尊重她。我知道請求即將到來，並且很高興能給予我祝福。我今年18歲，他學會了尊重周圍的女孩。我已經多次與他討論過如何對待女孩。

可以佩服。討厭混蛋。如果我們的每一個言語和舉動都與我們周圍的所有人，我們的女孩，我們的男孩，在卡車上的白痴在長途旅行中交流，那麼我們也許會建立一種文化，既可以欣賞女性的美麗，又可以尊重承受它的人類。

我想強調帕斯卡的答案的簡短部分，即作為父母，我們可能有女兒，但我們可能有兒子，他們也需要接受教育。如果您的女兒對凝視感到不舒服，但又不想面對一群男孩或男人，該怎麼辦？她的力量（或您的力量）只有那麼多-請參閱其他答案以獲取建議。

我正在為有兒子的人回答這個問題。 我們必須教我們的兒子不要讓女人（或人們）過分地不舒服，也不要使女人（或人們）淪為性對象。

如何執行此操作是另一個問題。答案可能是以下兩種行為的結合：樹立良好的行為舉止，與孩子明確交談，指出好壞榜樣，誠實，建立信任，實行同理心，並讓他們自己解決問題。但是我沒有答案。

Guy with two teenage daughters here. I think it depends a lot on the nature of the attention.

If it is aggressive, and unwanted by the girl, then by all means step in. As mentioned in many of the answers, boys particularly (due to their inherent superior cultural and physical power, particularly in groups) need to be taught to be respectful of others. If their parents didn't manage to do the job, then the rest of us should step up and do it.

However, if its not aggressive or disrespectful, and she's not uncomfortable with it, then frankly there's a good chance that level of attention was one of her goals in dressing that way in the first place. So if she isn't feeling uncomfortable or threatened by it, any reaction from you is just you being territorial. An overreaction may make her uncomfortable with her own body while around you. She needs some space to explore her own power, and your presence ought to be a safe place to do so.

“我應該讓他們停止還是讓他們成為？我必須承認是他們的年齡”

在這裡，您可以清楚地看到當其他男孩向您的女兒求婚時，您不喜歡它。大概是因為您認為這是錯的，或者進一步是因為您認為女兒的性取向是您需要保護的事物，直到“正確”的時間。

但是您的女兒正在過渡到成年。 “正確的”時間將比您想像的要早。當她還是您的小寶貝女孩時，您會保持緊繃的皮帶，但是現在是時候放鬆您的握力，讓她可以學習如何照顧自己了。但是就像在所有情況下一樣，如果您繼續保持太近，她會反抗或反感，但是如果您完全放開她，她可能會受傷。這是成為父母的日常平衡。

因此，讓男孩們o不休，您就不用管他們了。他們中有些甚至可能會對您的女兒發表評論。讓她處理並向她詢問。當她看起來很開放時，請給她建議。當然，您應該保護您的女孩免受任何嚴重危險。但是，這是您的女兒需要學會導航的那種水。

A huge amount depends on the relationship your daughter and you (and other parents/significant adults if any) share.

She may feel in control and comfortable. She may be testing the water. She may feel peer pressure (and if so may or may not recognise it or see it as a problem). She might be stressed if its the best of a problematic situation. She might be happy to discuss, embarrassed, not believe you'll understand. She could be right even if wrong, or wrong even if right (right/wrong for her and at her age vs. absolutely and dispassionately right/wrong). It could be important to reassure or open the topic or might be important to stand back and give her space for a long time herself. In her peer group there may be ways to handle it different than those you might push upon her that would help. Consider whether she needs it or if it's that you feel the need to say it.

I say this to try and emphasise how nobody else can say "one right answer" that's right for her, for now. Its possible you can't either. Could you cope if that were so?

Doing nothing is the hardest thing and is right in some cases, wrong in others. But often, even if right, it's very hard to do, since we often feel we "have to do something". So you need to bear that urge in mind, in case you feel it but its not right for now. (Remember the old saw about politicians' and business leaders' reactions to a sudden perceived problem - "Something must be done! This is something. So we must do it!")

That said, and knowing nothing of either of you, I would say the crucial thing might be an awareness that many people - even while semi-liking attention - at times wish it wasn't as it was.

It also might not just be with friends and when you're around, it could be other contexts - I've seen people stuck at bus stops who didn't know comfortably and safely how to tell a stranger insistent on dialog, that they didn't want to talk to them, and that's a situation that should concern anyone as it's not ambiguous.

For that reason if nothing else, it is worth carefully considering whether to say something. But everything I've said above can shade that - it may not be right now, or for this situation, or that specific daughter, or broached a particular way or at a particular time, or might not be heard as you wish it in your relationship. It's extremely individual.

If you do think something should be said, don't rush it and think hard. If it's honestly right, maybe tell her, without specifically mentioning any specific incident, that she may find people paying her attention or being pushy and not know how to handle it or what to do if she doesn't want to tell them aggressively to go away, but also doesn't feel entirely comfortable. If so, there are things she can do and you'd be glad to help, now or whenever its useful.

If they are just looking and are discrete about it, then I don't think you should do anything about it.

If they make comments, whistle or become otherwise disrespectful then you should probably intervene.

You shouldn't play white knight. This is something your daughter needs to learn to deal with. She can control this by wearing shorts that are not too short (by that I mean this, anything that covers more than that will most likely go unnoticed nowadays.) and by behaving in a discrete way. If she projects a body language that says that she is neither interested in those boys nor in the attention they are giving her, if she behaves in an assertive way, they will pick up on that and leave her alone.

The truth is that a lot of girls actually want this attention even though they say they don't and yet they behave in ways that make guys notice them. It might be tempting to your daughter to indulge in that attention, that's perfectly normal, but if I were you I would tell her that beauty doesn't last forever so she shouldn't get too comfortable, nor build her self esteem around it.

I must admit I did ogle at other girls when I was their age

Karma is a funny thing, isn't it?

您可以問，但是他們沒有義務停止； IANAL，但據我所知，與女孩交往並不是犯罪（儘管我確信許多少女的父親希望這是犯罪）。基本上，這完全超出了您的控制範圍，您為控制它所做的任何嘗試都可能導致衝突，而且確實會迅速升級：十幾歲的男孩，尤其是其中的一群人，不喜歡面對和受責難。

如果您的女兒對她的時尚感引起的注意力不舒服，那麼唯一可行的解​​決方案是她穿得更謙虛。

如果您對與她在一起時得到的注意力感到不舒服，那麼您可以要求她在您公開場合時穿著得體些。

如果需要的話，我一定會讓它滑動，讓你的女兒來處理。我能理解一種情況，當有人要求一個好奇的人不要盯著他們，但是說“停止盯著我的女兒”這樣的話聽起來根本不合適。我已經不再是青少年了，所以我會吞下這樣的東西而無視你，但是在我年輕的時候，我的直接反應就是“或者什麼？”

你可能最終會羞辱自己和你的

如果女兒對自己的外貌不滿意，建議給她一些不太顯眼的衣服。儘管只有當她首先展示一些東西時，這種方法才有用，但是從“適當”到“適度”的變化不太可能起作用。

The OP didn't say specifically what age his daughter was. For younger teens, I would definitely be more directly involved in such a situation. But it is certainly important to begin to train them (even before they're teenagers) how to handle these situations on their own. By the time their 17 or 18, they should be able to handle most situations without your involvement.

Bottom line... start teaching them when they're young how to handle themselves, and then as they grow and learn, give them the space to practice those skills in your presence. That way they know how to handle themselves when you're not around.

Same thing goes for a lot of other parental situations... it's basically our job as parents to make ourselves unnecessary... :D

Is this question about you and your daugther or it is about your daugter and you?
I can read from your question that you don't like boys ogling your daugter and you are asking what to do about it.

Live with it. Period.

And ask (yourself) the appropriate question: Does my daugter like/ignore/dislike being ogled?

• If she like that, talk to her and discuss with her possible consequences and your concerns. Enforcing anything here will lead to only one result - damaging or breaking her bonds to you, she has her own mind. The only thing you can do is suggesting.

• If she dislike that, you can try to comfort her a bit explaining that it is, within limits, natural and that, back then, you were doing it too.

• If she ignores that, bingo!, there is nothing to solve.

If you want to calm oglers down, approach them only if your daughter asks you. Othewise you will create serious problem from nothing - you can easily hurt your daughter.

我在其他任何答案中都沒有看到的重要見解是，注意力是有限的。如果十幾歲的男孩在看你女兒以外的東西或其他人，那麼他們就不會盯著她。這意味著您可以通過分散他們的注意力來防止十幾歲的男孩欺騙您的女兒。這是一個舉世公認的極端例子：如果您每次和女兒在一起時都赤身裸體，那麼十幾歲的男孩會忙於凝視著您而不會注意到她。當然，如果您這樣做了，您的女兒幾乎肯定會拒絕與您一起在公共場合露面，您很可能會被捕！您需要做的是找出一種方法來引起您和女兒都滿意的十幾歲男孩的注意。

出於全面披露的目的，我從未這樣做過，我見過任何父親這樣做嗎，所以這個建議並非基於實際經驗。它基於邏輯。