這真的引起了我的共鳴。

根據我的經驗，作為一個跳舞芭蕾舞多年（穿著尖頭鞋），穿著少女的衣服和化妝的人說話的人…… -不可能知道您的兒子成年後將成為誰。

人們在我身上做了很多嘗試。當我坐下並接受“談話”時，“做自己和做同性戀是可以的”總是很痛苦的。 （是。）但是， 我不是同性戀。 當我告訴家人/朋友/老師這件事時，他們笑著說我拒絕了。每個人都試圖告訴我我是同性戀，所以我開始相信它。因此，我直到25歲之前都沒有認真或親密地約會過。

您的兒子今年8歲。他所有看起來像是性/性別定義事物的行為對他來說都是行為和事物。粉紅閃閃發光的東西很酷。從外觀上看，女裝比男裝更有趣。

也就是說，社會只會分配標籤。人們就是這樣做的。糟透了但是，您唯一需要擔心的問題就是成為兒子的父母。您的兒子將學習有關標籤以及他想要分配的所有內容。

我仍然穿著粉紅色的內褲，但我喜歡與女性做愛。我不在乎是否會使其他人感到困惑/煩惱，他們無論如何都不應該看著我的內衣。但是我穿的衣服和我做的事是我的事。

您的兒子也是。如果他對其他人的行為/態度感到困惑，則有責任解釋原因。

編輯：我意識到，問題的很大一部分是對“如何為殘酷的世界做好準備”的措辭。

您唯一能做的就是說實話。他的哥哥正在承擔這種責任，並試圖以他唯一知道的方式保護他的弟弟：讓他知道什麼行為是可以接受的社會標準。他沒錯。孩子並不復雜。社會對我們所有人的判斷很快，幾乎沒有考慮到個人的複雜性。哥哥的推理很可能-行為“ A” ==受到欺負；解決方案：停止行為“ A”。

此外，我試圖從自己的生活中說明的是，性行為除了性交之外，還不受其他任何行為的影響，而是刺激您參與其中的因素。八歲的時候，他不太可能對此做出任何決定。我15歲那年，我問他我是否是同性戀。他非常認真地回應道：“當您走進一個房間時，您還會向誰看？”我的回答是“女孩，但是我[打扮自己，喜歡化妝，芭蕾等]，而且與我喜歡看的人有什麼關係？”他的回答是：“那你喜歡看誰？” （女孩。）雖然當時還不很明顯，但是這是一次改變生活的對話，說話幹得很乾，這迴盪了我的未來。

再次，我想指出一點了解我的行為對我做出了 特定 的判斷是有幫助的，但是我仍然找到了反叛的方式，這讓我很高興成為我。 （真棒的粉紅色內衣。）但是我還學會瞭如何生活在社會中，並且不會使陌生人或同事變得更加不合理。 （或多或少。）

PS：我意識到我的回答似乎已經偏離了這個問題，但是，OP最初將其標記為“同性戀”。

I would teach my son "mean people are mean and that isn't because of anything about you". My son has long hair. He was about 2 when he asked me why he has to cut his hair and I don't. I had no good explanation so I simply told him he doesn't have to either. After that he didn't. He loved his long hair, until one day some very mean children were mean about it. That is all it took. It was one time. He was 6. Two weeks later he tells me he wants it cut and I stalled, hoping to reassert he should love what he loves, etc. He told me since it was his hair, he should be able to wear it however he wants, since I always said that and if he wanted it cut, I should stop trying to talk him out of it. Again, I agreed, and we went to have it cut.

Before having it cut, I gave him the "mean people are mean" talk several times (maybe even a dozen), but he insisted that he was in charge of his hair and wanted this, so we did it. The very firsyt person he saw after the cut was a "mean kid", and he proudly went and showed him his new hair (which was super cute and very trendy - something most kids that age would love) and the first thing that happened is the mean kid insulted the new haircut.

I hated that it happened. I hurt for him. I also look back now and see it had to happen. It was a very important lesson and 4 years later I have never once again seen him attempt to change anything he does to try to please someone else. Immediately he said to me that I was right, that hair was never the reason he was treated badly.

He only got it cut that once, and then immediately started on growing it back out. He gets mistaken as a girl often, because long haired boys are unusual here. The last time it happened with a sales person, he didn't bother to correct her (he usually does) and after I asked him why he didn't just tell her. He told me it's because it doesn't matter, he doesn't know her, so why waste time since it really isn't an issue. He then said something very sweet and told me that most of his favorite people are girls, like me (mom) and that if anyone ever tells him he "throws like a girl" he will say "Thanks, my mom taught me and she has a great pitching arm".

The point of all that is, within my family I work very hard to constantly tell my kids we are a team. We support and encourage one another to be who we are meant to be, with all our quirks and characteristics. We build one another up and have one another's back. We are never ever to be the source of emotional pain for one another. We are never to criticize things that are simply differences, not only within our family, but to others. And in the end, teaching your children how to support one another, and supporting your children is the best way to prepare them for a rough world. The world will always be a difficult place to navigate for young people but if home is good, solid, safe, builds them up, etc, then it will be a far more manageable world because they know they have people in their corner who love them just as they are.

只要繼續做您正在做的事情，不僅向他而且向與您有影響的人加強信息，他是一個很棒的人，並且您就像他一樣愛他。那比您能做或給他的任何事情都重要的多，這將使他有能力去應對科學上的不贊成，這種反對是針對那些敢於逆著我們的文化潮流游泳的人的。

然後。鼓勵您的配偶也這樣做。一起嘲笑人們如何愚蠢地拒絕人們選擇哪種顏色。

提出當前圍繞這個問題的話題，並在餐桌上進行討論。羞恥和保密是你的敵人。我們彼此做的許多邪惡的事情在光明之前退縮了。討論可以幫助您在不在家時發生類似情況時提供觀點。辯論這些問題將為他提供工具和經驗，讓其他人試圖將自己的觀點推向他。

查找有關那些有勇氣站起來並成為自己的人的書籍和電影，即使世界試圖迫使他們成為自己的形象。談論羅莎·帕克斯（Rosa Parks）必須有多大的勇氣才能站出來反對那些告訴她不允許她坐公交車的人。或者在阿富汗，他們如何向小女孩的臉上扔酸，以敢於上學。或社會過去是如何公開歧視長發男人或穿褲子的女人。

不要強迫您的大兒子採用您的年輕價值觀，但一定要將這兩種觀念引入我們可以同意不同意，而不會失去彼此的愛或尊重。如果我們都一樣，我們將生活在一個無聊的世界中。

As another former girly boy, I want to echo NonCreature0714's warning that you don't know, at age 8, who your son will be as he gets older. He might be gay or transgender, (or, like the late great Prince, gender non-conformist) but he might just be going through a pink-and-sparkly phase.

All you can really do is give him your own unconditional love and support. Middle school was a living hell for me, but that can be the case for anyone, no matter what their personal traits. You can't protect your kids from everything.

It's also a very different world from when we were kids. Older brothers aside, he might not face the same kinds of disapproval you're expecting. Either way, it sounds like you're doing the right things and that he's doing fine right now. I wouldn't spend too much time anticipating problems that might or might not actually materialize. (With that said, is it possible that the person who is really feeling insecure right now is big brother?)

這一切都取決於他對欺負的感覺。如果他對自己正在玩的玩具有信心，那麼他可能不在乎他們的想法。如果他受到欺凌的影響，那麼他必須決定是否值得放棄自己喜歡的東西並使自己為他人高興。您甚至可以問他這些人是否是他一生中想要的人。領導生活是他的生活，有時其他人則成為判斷自己的事。

大哥必須小心。良好的意願等等。作為一個年輕的兄弟姐妹，我非常仰望姐姐，她對如何穿衣的評論確實使我的信心低落。她是個準備，我是個朋克。當我開始自我實現時，就是那個時候她開始模仿我的時尚選擇。因為有很多女孩朋友而被人取笑？為什麼，你嫉妒？被玩娃娃逗了嗎？您希望您擁有我對時尚的熱情。被“同性戀”取笑？你為什麼如此投入我的性生活？

他所需要知道的就是，到最後，他必須活下來。重要的是他對自己的看法和感受。

以下是一些可以添加到您已經在思考和正在做的事情中的想法：

• 由於您不知道孩子最終要去哪裡？性別頻譜，您可能想了解有關性別流動性的更多信息。我發現以下書籍很有幫助： http://www.amybloom.com/books/normal-transsexual-ceos-crossdressing-cops-and-hermaphrodites-with-attitude/

• 嘗試與您所在地區面臨類似問題的其他家庭聯繫，以尋求相互支持。

• 您所在地區的高中是否有一家同性戀直覺聯盟？與他們建立聯繫可以在許多方面有所幫助-它可以幫助您找到適合您孩子的年輕人，並可以幫助您確定在您所在的地區，哪所學校對性別多樣性的支持最大。

• 對您所在地區的不公正事件保持警惕，並幫助您的孩子識別出真正發生的情況；但請注意不要在孩子的腦海中產生負面期望。今天，人們對性別不符合的接受程度超出了您的想像。在您孩子的當前年齡，最好保持您的態度積極，樂觀和開放。與家庭治療師。

這是一個很好的問題！

我會挑戰您的“自我”概念。

您的孩子正在成長，並將在一生中繼續發生變化。人們傾向於根據自己的環境和他人的反饋而變化。在學校裡的孩子會取笑孩子，而哥哥不希望他的兄弟姐妹經歷這種痛苦。因為我們的文化被定義為具有男性和女性特徵的兩種性別。在我們的世界文化中，男孩是男性，女孩是女性。每個性別都有特定的任務，而且從歷史上看，它有助於使社會凝聚在一起以發揮作用。

您應該在社交場合和環境中鼓勵敏捷。做你自己，你必須沒有自己。

祝你好運！我希望你的家人一切順利。